Sunday, November 8, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 2:19 AM
Comments: 0
contradiction of thoughts
I hate knowing all these stuffs about you that its almost impossible for me to think any longer. The reason behind all these hesitation is because of just one word, and that is "friendship". If not for this, i wouldn't really have bothered about it at all. Maybe im really that stupid, i guess i am. Cannot believe myself that im actually thinking of ways of how i could possibly change you, to become a better person, or rather a person i want you to be? All this is just simply cause i really wanted to help, and not see you get into a disastrous state that by the time you realise, it might just be too late for anymore actions. I really dont know how stupid i can be, and im serious about this. Knowing that you are like this but i keep telling myself that no you're not. How should i deal with this?

I hate myself.
Stupid silly me.

Saturday, November 7, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 10:31 PM
Comments: 0
A New Look
It got kinda boring at work and so i started editing the blog template to make it all work for the entire Friday -.- yes, no life i know. This entire week has been a bore i guess, nothing much to do in the office and there's even a early break from work the other day :D BUT trips back to TP has been the main highlight of my day as always. Especially when you step into the room, it just feels homely and there's just no boundaries(: Thats what i love about bsc. I've got monday off which means TP DAY again(: Meeting up with ppl like yufei, jiajie, shawn etc for lunch or dinner :D

Clubbed @powerhse on fridayyy(: It was funnn! But the music the other day was better. At least there were jacq's fren protecting us from the other guys. AND there's a cute guy dancing behind me that nightttt. Woots. OOHYUH, i went for OTC interview today(: Interviewed by farhan n jingkai. The questions were fine i guess, and i would say, its really the most truthful interview that i've ever had. Every word that i had spoken in the interview was really how i felt and wanna do when otc comes. Its my LAST year, and i really wanna get in and really make an impact.

NO PICTURES for this post cause im currently using the desktop. My teeny weeny laptop is now stuck in the bsc room due to some miscommunication regarding the key. TSK. Shall have to fight over the use of laptop tmrw with my siblings but i tink i will lose. Im damn sad now cause i got no plans tmrw): Any ideas anyone???

Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 12:11 AM
Comments: 0
Sickkkkk
Arn't feeling too good cause i can feel a fever coming. Throat feels rather dry and itchy and i know a flu is coming too, cause i kept sneezing. Sore throat, flu, cough, whats next on the list man. Hopefully i wouldnt get sick cause saturday is the HALLOWEEN EVENT. I wouldn't wanna be sick and miss it, moreover im one of the organisors!! urghhs.

I'll be crossing my fingers that i won't fall sick :X

Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 2:54 AM
Comments: 0
Life is GOOD(:
Oh dear, i know i hasn't been blogging all this while, promising that i will post the photos up but they were nvr up at all! HAHAS. Been real busy with work as well as my life after work that i really got no time to blog a proper post at all. Only reaching home in the wee hours and after that i just dont have the mood to blog. Give me some time alrights.

Life has been GOOD all this while with like TONS AND TONS of activities after work which make me a pretty happy girl :D Even though it might be abit tiring but i dont mind at all(: The last week has been filled with a visit over to IITSC clubroom, IKEA trip with the maincomms, sophia birthdays (which also include HTHT session), night safari trip & movie with BSC, Tupperware event @ Bukit Panjang. Shall just state the stuffs cause i dont feel like blogging a proper post now.

Promise i'll update again! BYES.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 12:20 AM
Comments: 0
a proper ending?
I promise i'll post a proper post soon about my whereabouts and happenings for this few weeks. Pictures are not done yet thats why(: Currently im feeling not so good i would say, I really dont know whats going on with me, I can really feel that im not ME anymore. Not like who I used to be since it happened. Once again, I find myself contradicting again and again. Im sorry for all the bad things that I say about you, I just need to say it all out, vent it all out, then moments later, I'll find myself regretting what I had said. Who is to say what is right and wrong? Perhaps, all this happening is because there wasn't a proper ending to it. All was done through msn and smses.

To you:

I would really want to sit down to have a talk with you, simply just to get all the facts right, but I don't think I'll have the courage to do it. Afraid that I'll just breakdown and crumble in front of you. Part of me know that if you were talking to me normally like how you would in the past, I'll be fine, I'll really be. But its just that you really dont seem to care at all that makes me feel that being friends might not be as simple as it seems cause friends will care. There is just a complete change that I couldn't get used to it. Maybe its cause im paranoid? Is it, tell me then. I'll tell others that I hate you and all, but you know, the truth is I don't. I've forgotten about the things, but at times, things just triggered that emotion, making me lost myself in all the thoughts and things that I hear. Which happens to be things that are all bad and negative about you, and they just spread through my mind like wildfire. Im sorry, talk to me and clear my mind if you see this will you?

I hope you are reading this, cause its something that I really needed you to know. And also for me to know if this friendship is important to you as it is to me. Are is it just not worth it?

Saturday, October 10, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 1:51 AM
Comments: 0
a hella week!
OMG. The current season of ANTM, the petite models ep 6 was pretty c ool. They actually got in jabbawockeez and they actually got to perform with them. woots :D

This week has been a pretty hectic week with so many things going on at the same time. Every single day of this week there's something on, BUT it has been really GREAT meeting up with all those ppl(: Wednesday party over at eugene's house was not too bad! The hilarious opening of presents and the usual k session, mahjong, guitar hero etc. Im glad that i really enjoyed myself though i reached home at 6 and head off to work at 9am! Got an event which was a conference on Wednesday till bout 12 plus and by the time we reached home it was 1 plus in the morning. First time dealing with reception in a conference,which was an experience, overall the event had be fairly alright. Its not too much of walking around cause i was at the reception the entire time(:

AND THEN ITS FRIDAY(: TGIF! And best thing is that we get to report to work at 1pm cause the day before we reached home arnd 1am(: only 5hrs of work :D After work is TIMBRE with derek, eugene, curls, huiqi and michelle. ZOMG. We had a total of 4 pizzas but only charged for 3 of them! And worst is that we mistaken a triple cheese pizza with a triple mushroom! LOLS. ITS LIKE ALL OF US THOUGHT WE ATE THE MUSHROOM ONE! ZOMG. And the others sure can drink! My alcohol intake sucks totally luh, abit of beer and like apple martini and i can fall asleep immediatly :X Partly i guess cause i didnt had lunch today. But it was rather funny trying the diff kind of drinks(: Lets do it sometime again! Clubbing tooooo:D

Okayyyyyy, its a DAMN LENGTHY post, partly i duno what im really typing cause im like soooo tired. Pardon me alrights. Sat and sun will be NEXO CHALET. If its not for band, i'll alrdy be there NOW. TSK TSK. I'll probably post up some photos sooon (: OKAYYYY, time to head off to bedddd.

Monday, October 5, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 11:59 AM
Comments: 0
sylvia's BODYGUARDS :D
The day with the 2 bodyguards

(OKAY. NOT THE BEST PHOTO DEFINATELY)
(Its from FO what do you think?)

(the TWO NICEST/ONLY photo is in wan's cam)

(AND, its the only two that we have)

(WE TAKE MORE NXT TIME!!)


You know, 2 bodyguards named wan and shawn picked me up at work today :D That made me a happy kid today and no monday bluessss(: It was a rather short meetup with the 2 of them becauseeee someone forgot he got something on! HAHAS. But it was alright. Though the meetup was short, but i really enjoyed myself alot. Went back to TP with them cause shawn got meeting which resulted in me and wan slacking in BSC room(: It was rather fine, some HTHT session with wan, and my ultimate bimbotic moments of @. HAHAS. Headed home with shawn since we lived soooo near tgth(:

I would say the bus ride home was indeed a good one, a HTHT session i would say. Hey you, thanks so much for listening and trying to know what had happened to me and all though i wouldnt tell you who is it, but its really better that you don't know. You make me feel so touched by the things that you say, wanting to stand up for me and all. But you know, don't bother finding out, it takes two hands to clap and i was at fault also. DON'T DO ANYTHING if you found out which i dont know how. I'll be fine just that it take time, so don't worry alrights. You sounded pretty angsty just now but i know you are just worried but i'll really be fine.

Though the time spent with you two were short, but i really enjoyed it(: You guys are definitely two impt friendship that i'll always treasure and i mean it. If i could, i'll tell you both everything, but this is for the better of others and i just don't want this to affect some other things. Don't be worried cause i'll be fine(: Love you two luh!

Once again "Every moment spend with you is a moment i treasure~~~" :D



Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 2:27 AM
Comments: 0
empty promises
you did something that you said you wanted
US
to do together

but we didn't cause we didn't know how

i wondered how you felt when you were doing that
):

Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 11:48 PM
Comments: 0
yes, i love you
Do you remember this?

Im sorry for starting all this again.
Im sorry that i miss you.
Im trying all kinds of method to forget but it doesn't help.
Im sorry.



I love you because I know you’re always there.
There to catch me when I fall.
There to listen when I need you, there when I feel alone.
I love you because you understand me.
You know how I feel even when I can’t say it.
You know I’m not as strong as I say and
still you never let me know that I’m not fooling you.
I love you because you make me believe, believe that I am not worthless.
Believe that I can be loved, am loved, and can love others.
I love you because you know,
you know I feel this way but can’t say it and still you wait.
Letting me take my time to come to terms with the fact that I love you,
would give my life up to be with you.
And above all, never hurt you, lie to you, or leave you.
Now I hope you understand.



Do you?
i dont really need an answer, i just needed to post what i feel





Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 1:52 AM
Comments: 0
after effects of alcohol
I think the tequila I drank just now is taking effect
Once again i find myself tearing thinking of you

Part of me feels that its my fault for not showing you all the concern
Another part of me hated you

They said thats what you seem to always do,
that you're just a _____.

In front of them I would agree to what they say,
knowing that if i said the opposite,
all i would get is "don't be silly, he's not like that".
But deep down i kept refusing to believe



This is how much i trusted you,
but are you worth the trust?

Monday, September 28, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 1:29 AM
Comments: 0
where has all the drive gone?
Blogger's been giving problems lately, unable to upload any photos, so another day perhaps. Yet another mundane sunday of staying at home and rotting my entire day away. It just seems that I kinda no longer have the drive to even plan for activities to do, even at times when ppl ask me out on the sunday, I find myself coming up with different excuses just not to go out, but for no apparant reason. But you know, deep down I kinda know the reason behind it, just that i don't wanna face it. Sighs.

Saturday of band had been getting more and more tiring for me. I just don't have the drive/passion for anymore related stuffs, I just feel like leaving. Someone just tell me how can I do it, its not as easy as it seems you know. And partly, now in band, it all seems seperated, im no longer close to that group any longer. Thankgod alan asked me out for dinner that day, of not it will be another home takeaway dinner for me. It was nice chitchatting about certain stuffs and like always i would say its easy telling you stuffs that sometimes i just wouldnt wanna tell anyone. Its just nice knowing that you'll always be there when i ever needed(: Had a short meetup with hiuching too, which was absolutely loves lah. We just got to meetup more alright, more HTHT sessions :D

Work tmrw again. Nights world.
MONDAY BLUESSSSSSSS.

Friday, September 25, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 11:49 PM
Comments: 0
packed week ahead!
BLOGGER DOESNT ALLOW ME TO UPLOAD PHOTOS ):

Overall it has been a pretty alright week i would say(: Work as usual has been fine, other than today with the lack of communication and all, causing time of around 2 hrs plus to be wasted doing nothing at all. At least now there's more projects/things to be done on hand, though at times its just really the same all thing over and over again. Groans. Tuesday had been one of the best so far, with QUANZEE chalet and the chance to meet up with wan(: Absolutely camwhore session to the max, i'll post more on Sunday :D

Currently im hooked on tumblr and also cardboardlove. Hahahs. Its really nice reading the quotes and looking at all the pretty pictures that i got myself a tumblr to post things that i would like to see, hear, and read too(: Cliquey is meeting up tmrw afternoon and there's band ): Im super uber duper wuper cuber tuber UPSET that i got band for the entire day. Eeeeks. Really hates it when thing classes. On the happier noteeeee, monday will be meetup with the long-time-no-see-since-FO-was-over-BIMBOCLUB(: Timbre timbre here we commme. AND most importantly, on the 30th meetup with my TOILET PARTNERS-kim & lynette :D:D:D

Can't wait for next week! Im glad i got every single on of you in my life to make it a meaningful one.

Yes, no doubt i still miss you and you're still appearing in my thoughts but im coping well with it. There were times i find myself thinking back and staring into space, but all is well(: Just don't ignore me when i talk to you will you? Give a a little more concern and thats all i ask for(:

Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 12:39 AM
Comments: 0
i hate
I H A T E

I want you, but you’re there and I am here and
I can’t help but miss you every second of everyday.
I hate not being able to see you whenever I want.
I hate not being able to look into your eyes.
I hate not being able to get lost in the comfort of your arms.
I hate not being able to make you laugh with a silly face.
I just hate being apart from you.
I hate missing you.

Thursday, September 24, 2009
Posted by: sylveeah
Time: 12:22 AM
Comments: 0
i need your hug

you know, i need a hug badly now
but its not just any other hug,
what i need is your hug.

the one you gave that got me breathless.

you did it so tightly that for an instance,
i panicked, thinking that you were leaving me,
that i would just loose you if i ever let go

that was the last time we hugged.
and i lost you

Sylvia Ng
Nineteen.
Singaporean.
Leo.
090890.
Dreamer.
s(y)-lvia, syl-via\ is pronounced SIL-vee-ah.
It is of Latin origin, and its meaning is "woods,forest".

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